Rescue Me
by Azura Nyx
Summary: Dr. Rush has already 'dealt' with the loss of his late wife. Can he handle the loss of another loved one?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Rescue Me

**Author: **Azura Nyx

**Characters: **T.J/Nicholas Rush, Colonel Everett Young

**Type: **Angst(sort of)/Romance

**Length: **3,500 words, 4 chapters

**Warnings/Author's Notes: **There are spoilers for "Light." These characters do not belong to me because they are property of MGM.

**Rating: **K+ (PG) for some mild language

**Summary:** Dr. Rush has already 'dealt' with the loss of his late wife. Can he handle the loss of another loved one?

_**Chapter 1**_

It's astonishing how the years can go by so quickly. Nearly six years have passed already since the Destiny and its voyagers became trapped in space. Lost. That was how many of those on board felt at the very beginning. In the duration of those five years, however; lives have been lost, friends have been made, and arguments fumed and subsided. It would be misleading to say the events on the Destiny have been tedious.

If someone were to walk up to Dr. Nicholas Rush and ask him if he thought being on the Destiny was boring, he would answer, 'Hell no,' which would be his honest reply. Nicholas hardly found sitting in a chair by the dying medic and now his fiancée, Tamara Johansen, a dull moment.

Earlier that day, the medical doctor they retrieved from Earth using the Long Range Communication stones mentioned to Rush that Ms. Johansen had acquired too much radiation exposure from a planet they traveled to quite a few months ago, and also regretfully said there was nothing more he could do except give her morphine for the pain. In that light, Nicholas vowed to spend as much time with his dying fiancé as possible. There were even moments where he stayed with T.J all day and night.

Stroking her hand ever so gently, Dr. Rush began to sob. It hurt him to know T.J wasn't going to survive. It bothered Nicholas that as soon as he finds love again, it is taken away from him. Any man would feel the same way.

Pitifully raising his head, Rush stuttered, "T-Tamara, I… I don't know if you can hear me, but… I just need you to know that… you've given so much happiness to me. I'm not even certain you realize just how much. Whenever you're around, I feel… like I'm complete. I just hope in the short while we've been together that I've treated you as compassionately as you have me."

Nicholas raised himself from the chair, leaned over Johansen and kissed her forehead. After sitting back down, he remembered a specific time he spent with T.J:

A year ago, there had been a small dancing celebration in the mess hall. The purpose in its occurrence didn't matter to anyone, and why should it? Being trapped for five years on an enormous ship built by the Ancients is bound to get depressing and, thus, should be reason alone to heighten emotions.

Tamara gracefully strolled into the cafeteria; her lacey, dark green dress that came to her ankles flowed behind her. It felt like silk upon her skin, which is the very reason why it was her favorite dress. It made her feel… elegant.

As Johansen took a seat at the bar, or at least an imitation of one, next to Dr. Nicholas Rush, it became apparent that she wasn't the only one who thought the dress didn't look too bad on her. Rush breathed in a puff of a cigarette and exhaled the smoke. He happened to glance over at Tamara, and after looking her up and down he noticed the dress she was wearing. Dr. Rush smiled slightly, and then remarked, "Well, you look lovely tonight!"

"Thank-you," kindly replied the medic, returning Nicholas's smile with a half-grin. "You don't look too bad yourself, might I add."

"I do greatly appreciate your compliment, but this old suit is hardly anything special," Nicholas began. However, Tamara would have to disagree immensely because, in her opinion, the fact she was witnessing Dr. Rush wearing a black suit jacket, a red undershirt, and a grey/red stripped tie made her recognize his most handsome features even more.

"May I have the honor of buying you a drink, Ms. Johansen," Dr. Rush offered Tamara.

Johansen blinked her eyes, as if she had awoken from a daze. "Oh! Uh… no, no thank-you. Ever since I arrived on the Destiny, I… haven't quite regained my taste for alcoholic beverages."

After taking a sip of his glass of champagne, Nicholas somewhat flirtatiously inquired, "I see. Well… have you lost your desire to dance as well?"

"That I have not lost the desire to do," the medic replied with a grin.

As Dr. Rush stood up from his seat he held out his hand for Tamara to take in hers. Once she did so, they walked to the dance floor. Nicholas gently held Tamara's hand in his while he placed his other hand on her waist. Johansen rested her free hand on Rush's shoulder. They started moving slowly to the beat of the music.

The music was slow, soft. It was instrumental, almost like classical with a hint of jazz. Beautiful.

Nearly on impulse, Johansen began holding Rush a bit closer. She didn't really mean to, and even started to wonder herself what she was doing. However, Nicholas didn't appear to be bothered by it at all. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it.

Closing her eyes as if to embrace every second of this moment, Tamara contemplated more about why she liked this so much. Why it felt so good, so… like she was loved for the first time in her life. But that was just it: Ms. Johansen felt loved by someone, felt the same way about him, and didn't feel the need to keep it hidden.

During the years Tamara was having an affair with Colonel Everett Young, she felt misbegotten, imposturous, and uncertain. In Nicholas's arms, however, everything was different. She sensed a reconciling and loving emotion that was unclear to her until now. 'Saved' was the only relative term.

When the song ended, Nicholas and Tamara pulled away from each other a little. "I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did," Dr. Rush commented.

"I did," she replied, looking down toward the floor. It took her a moment before Ms. Johansen peered up at Nicholas again and finally asked, "Do you think I could talk with you alone for a moment?"

Rush nodded his head in affirmation. "Of course," he replied.

They stepped outside the mess hall, and Tamara began studying Nicholas's brown eyes in apprehension. She didn't know how to say what she wanted to him without sounding awkward.

"Can I tell you something without... you thinking I'm strange?"

Nicholas smiled a little. "Well… I don't know. That would depend on the statement, I guess," he joked, trying to ease Tamara's nervousness. When she didn't catch on right away to his dry humor, Rush furrowed his eyebrows and benevolently continued, "In all seriousness though, I'm sure whatever you have to say isn't _that _bad."

"It's just… I have been enjoying the time we've been spending together lately; the dinners, conversations…everything! You make me feel unashamed to be myself, which is something I haven't felt in a very long time," remarked Ms. Johansen, nervously shifting a bit.

"That's hardly insulting," Dr. Rush commented in reply.

Tamara stepped closer to Nicholas and said, "No. This is the part that could be insulting." She leaned in, placed one hand upon Rush's chest, and then gently kissed him on the lips. Afterward, Tamara whispered into Nick's ear, "I love you."

"Again, that's hardly insulting," Nicholas answered with a grin.

"Are you sure," inquired Tamara. She sighed as a means to rid herself of the tension. Once Johansen felt more composed, she continued by bluntly asking, "What about your late wife?"

A tad confused by where the subject was heading Dr. Rush responded, "What about her?"

"You must still gravely miss her. I see it in your eyes whenever I talk to you or pass you in the hallway. And it's fairly obvious you seclude yourself in the lab for hours on end to avoid too much contact with others." unsurely answered Johansen.

Trying to get the nerve to respond to the comment, Nicholas quickly passed his hand over his mouth. He peered at her intently and said, "Ms. Johansen, don't misunderstand me. There will always be a part of me that can't let her go. I saw her suffer for years with the…condition she had and those memories haunt me still. Not to mention that I loved her dearly. However, that doesn't mean I don't love you."

Dr. Rush smiled and affectionately caressed Ms. Johansen's cheek. This made her blush enormously and she grinned, peering down to the floor. Nicholas continued stroking Tamara's face, but this time he traced his fingers to her chin and cupped it in his hand. He leaned in and passionately kissed her on the lips. This kiss was different from before; longer and more powerful: so much so in fact that Ms. Johansen nearly collapsed into Rush's arms.

The door from the cafeteria closed shut, which startled Tamara and Nicholas. They backed away from each other a little, and then Johansen wiped her lips.

"Am I interrupting anything," an obviously agitated Colonel Everett Young asked.

"Uh…I-I-I…," stuttered Tamara.

"No. No, you didn't interrupt anything," Dr. Rush completed Johansen's remark. T.J quickly glanced at Nick, wondering how he was keeping his composure. It occurred to her soon afterward, however, that Dr. Rush didn't really give a damn about what Colonel Young witnessed just now. "In fact, I was just about to retire to my quarters for the evening seeing as it is rather late," commented Nicholas.

Rush was about to leave when Young ordered, "Stop. You, T.J and I need to talk this over here and now. Starting with the fact that what I had just saw between you two is against protocol."

"Oh, right. As if you took _that _into consideration when we hooked up," Tamara crossly replied to Everett.

"Besides," Nicholas started, crossing his arms. "That regulation can only be applied between two military personnel which, as Ms. Johansen has already boldly stated, is a rule you have broken many times yourself."

Everett glared at the scientist and callously snapped, "What I do in my spare time is none of your business, Dr. Rush."

"If you truly find this issue to be significant enough to bring up, then wouldn't it be my business then to simply become aware of what you do so your decisions won't compromise our lives," shrewdly remarked Nicholas.

Disregarding Rush's statement, Colonel Young looked over at Johansen. "You stopped seeing me for _this _asshole? How low could you possibly get," he rudely inquired.

"F.Y.I, _you're_ the one who left _me_. You went back to your wife, remember? And I think that's great because my feelings for you diminished a long time ago. Secondly, who I am with shouldn't concern you," Tamara stoutly answered. Anger written all over her face, Ms. Johansen stepped in closer to Everett. "Why don't you just stop being an adolescent and admit that you're jealous?"

"Oh, please! Jealous," Everett laughed mockingly.

Slowly walking to stand behind T.J, Nicholas inferred, "What I don't understand is why we're even _having _this conversation. You're already married, Colonel. I suggest you start being grateful for what you already have."

Tamara and Nicholas then walked off, leaving Everett Young speechless. He looked back at the two of them, and went into the cafeteria.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

Back to the Present:

Nicholas was trying even harder to hold back his tears so that Tamara wouldn't be able to utter one word of disapproval. However, he deemed it pointless to fight them any longer seeing as Johansen lied there, unconscious and unable to hear him anyway. Dr. Rush put his face into his hand that wasn't holding T.J's and allowed himself to cry as he pleased. He felt somebody put a hand on his shoulder. Once Nicholas peered up, he realized it was Colonel Young.

"Colonel, what are you doing here," a surprised Rush inquired Everett.

Young removed his hand from Nicholas's shoulder. "I came by to… you know," he sorrowfully responded.

"Right," Nick said, looking down at the floor. As he began to walk away, he continued, "I'll give you a few moments alone, then."

"Wait! That won't be necessary," replied Young. "I'm not going to be long- only a few seconds." Dr. Rush nodded his head in approval, and Everett walked over to Ms. Johansen's bedside. Grasping her hand, the Colonel quietly whispered into her ear, "I can be a very selfish, arrogant man. You know that. However, what I don't think you know is that I'm sorry for what I said to you that night. Rush is a good man, and he gave you far more in a year than I ever could have given you in a lifetime." Everett kissed Tamara's forehead, and slightly raised his tone as he concluded, "I'll miss you."

The Colonel started to leave when Nicholas asked, "What did you say to her?"

"Is that any of your business, Rush?"

Shifting a bit, Nick answered, "It is if you were flirting with my fiancé."

"Is that what you think I was doing?! Sorry to give you the wrong impression, but I wouldn't do that. She's all yours," Young said. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have paper work to finish."

"Yeah… I just bet you do! And I bet you wouldn't do that, Captain Kirk," Nick sarcastically remarked.

Rush's statement made Everett angry, so he boldly answered, "Look! T.J is dying. I really don't feel like picking a fight with you right now. So, get out of my way!"

This time, Dr. Rush allowed Young to leave. As the Colonel implied, it was pointless to argue at a time like this. It's not something Tamara would have wanted.

A few hours later, Nicholas fell asleep in the chair, his arms acting like a pillow for his head which was resting on top of T.J's legs. He never wanted to leave her side, even for a moment because a lot could happen in mere seconds.

Johansen's breathing started to slow down and her pulse became deathly weak. The monitor that kept track of her vitals began beeping, and this woke Rush. He peered up at the screen and realized it was alerting the doctor that Tamara's heart stopped beating. Hurrying into the room, the doctor recommended to Nicholas that he step outside the infirmary for a moment, and then used the defibrillator in the attempts of bringing her back. A multitude of tries later, the doctor ruefully told Rush, "I'm sorry. She's gone."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

It had been a very woeful and boring week for Nicholas since Tamara Johansen's death. Everybody apologized to him, saying how it was too soon…blah, blah, blah. Rush appreciated these statements, but it was getting old. Besides, it only made him more depressed hearing these comments, and when Nick was depressed he tended to drink a little more than usual.

One particular night, Rush passed out on the couch after drinking quite a few martinis. He felt something lightly brush against his face and he abruptly touched the spot. After Nicholas realized there wasn't anything on his face he opened his eyes and looked up, gaping his mouth open in complete awe because he was seeing T.J standing in front of him.

"It's really me, Nick. There's no need to doubt," said Tamara, grinning slightly.

"No. No, it can't be you. You're dead," Nicholas answered, trying to maintain his sanity, or however much was left of it, as much as possible.

T.J walked closer to Rush and smoothly caressed his face. "How can this not be real," she inquired.

Dr. Rush closed his eyes, savoring ever moment of her touch. He didn't know if this was really happening or if it wasn't just a horrible reaction to some bad liquor. Of course, Nicholas chose to believe the latter at first.

"If it is really you, then what could you possibly want with me," questioned Nicholas as he re-opened his eyes.

"The only thing I wanted to tell you is that what Colonel Young said to me the day before I died wasn't what you thought it was," Tamara began to explain.

"So, you could hear what people were saying when you were unconscious," Rush inquired, now standing up from the couch.

Nodding her head as to say 'yes,' she replied, "Every word."

"No, no…I refuse to-this isn't happening. You're just a figment of my subconscious," insisted Nicholas, shaking his head in the hopes of awakening himself. "I will wake up, and-"

"-realize this was all just a bad dream? You _are_ awake, Nick," T.J sternly interrupted. "…a little drunk, but… you're definitely not asleep."

"Fine. Okay. I'll play along for the time being. What was it that Colonel Young told you, then?"

"He apologized to me for how he treated us that night," Johansen began. "He even mentioned that he thinks you're a good person."

Nicholas crossed his arms over his chest and suspiciously raised an eyebrow. "Okay. Now I _know _you're just in my head. The Colonel hates my guts, so I happen to know for a fact that he would never say such a thing about me," he remarked.

"How do you know," skeptically inquired Tamara. "You hardly ever talk to the man, so can you honestly tell me that you know what he thinks of his crew members?"

"Do I _need _to be buddies with him or something? Is that some sort of dying wish of yours," Dr. Rush coldly asked in response.

Rolling her eyes in disgust, T.J answered, "No, of course not! All I'm saying is to try to understand his point of view."

"Right…. Tell you what: I'll start doing that when he stops being an asshole. How's that," suggested Nicholas.

With a snap of her fingers, Johansen disappeared. Nicholas opened his eyes, sat up on the couch and peered about the room; everything was where it was supposed to be. _Yes_, he thought. _I knew it was all just a dream!_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

Noon that same day rolled around and Dr. Rush was alone in the labs. A lot of the time, he enjoyed these moments because they allowed him to brood over life events, science, etc. However, today was different. Nicholas didn't like pondering over the events of last night at all. He wanted to say they were just a part of a nightmare, but his curiosity eventually got the best of him and couldn't resist but to radio Colonel Young to discuss that matter with him.

The door slid open. "You wanted to tell me something, Rush," Everett said.

"Yes, Colonel. Come in, please," answered Nicholas as he motioned for Young to step into the room. The Colonel did so and walked closer to Rush.

"So, what is this about? Have the FTL drives been operating okay?"

Nicholas peered down to the floor, uncertain of how he could begin to tell the Colonel about what he saw last night. After all, Dr. Rush knew that he couldn't just blurt out those events… nobody would believe him at first, especially Young of all people.

"Yes, they have been operating better than normal, actually," started Nicholas. "However… that is not what I called you here for. Um… I know that it's none of my business given the last moments you spent with Tamara was a private thing between you two, but what _did _you say to her?"

Shaking his head in disapproval, Everett responded, "Rush, I…-"

"-Colonel, please," begged Dr. Rush. "I'm not asking because I think it was something you believe I would disapprove of. I just… need to know. I need to talk about this."

After exhaling deeply, Colonel Young answered, "Well… it wasn't anything spectacular. The only thing I said was that I'm sorry for how I treated her the night I first saw you two together."

_So… it _wasn't _a dream_, silently pondered Rush. _It couldn't have been._

"Are you okay," Everett asked Nicholas when the scientist appeared to be staring off into oblivion.

A slight smile etched across Dr. Rush's face when he replied, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for your time. That's all I needed to know."

As Colonel Young headed back to his quarters, Rush contemplated over Johansen's words to him from a year ago. She told him how much he meant to her, and he couldn't deny that he never wanted to let her go ever since that night. The irony being that Nicholas eventually had to let go of T.J. He needed to let go of the second person he met in his life who ever truly made him feel loved and complete. It just didn't seem fair. It didn't seem right that everyone he grew to love were taken from him. As Dr. Rush put his head in his hands, he thought aloud to himself, "For the love of God, rescue me."


End file.
